Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Getting Old.

Not really old, necessarily...but guess what I did yesterday? That's right, I started firing up my BYU application. YIKES. Surely I'm not old enough to go to college yet. It simply isn't possible that I am that old. I'm not, I tell you. I'm still a little curly-haired girl wearing denim overalls and socks on my hands, jumping on the trampoline. That sounds a lot more like me than filling out college applications and writing entrance essays and worrying about money and where I'm going to live.

I feel like I should still be watching Scooby-Doo and playing with Pokemon cards and hating long division; not reading Jane Eyre and writing essays about how a bill passes through Congress.

The point is, I'm pretty dag-blasted sure I'm still a kid. I remember how excited I was to see how I would be in high school. For some reason, I thought I would be completely different. There would be some magical transformation between middle and high school which would automatically turn me into a smart, confident lady who knew exactly where she was going in life AND how she was going to get there. (It doesn't exactly work like that.)

See, I just don't feel ready for college. It's kind of....scary. I feel like baby Wade, who declared to my mom when he was but a wee lad, "I don't want to go to high school, Mom. I'm afraid I might fall off." The world is big and I am little, and I don't feel ready for life.

However, I'm so excited for what's coming my way. As Papa Paul would say, "This is where it's at." I love where I'm at, even though it's stressful. I love where I'm going, even though I'm not sure where exactly that might be just yet. Here, let me sum it up in the immortal words of Calvin: "Well, you never know...something could happen today. And if anything does, by golly, I'm going to be ready for it!"

So if anyone happens to have a helmet in their closet....

Love always,


CherryLaneDiaries said...

I'm almost 43 and I still feel like a kid (even though my body is falling apart from old age). I think that part never goes away, and you never feel ready. Just need to jump in anyway.


McKann said...

Bit of advice for you and all your friends:
If you want a good housing date (meaning an early one so all the places you want to live are taken by the time your date comes), get your application in EARLY.
I promise you won't regret it.

Holly said...

I remember feeling that same way about my high school self when I was little, like something magic would happen and I'd be an adult and just the coolest thing ever. Ha.

Also, good job getting your BYU ap in early. I turned mine in in early October and found out I was accepted in early November--over a month before any of my friends with their "early" notices from their colleges. I don't know if BYU still does a rolling admission, but in any case the earlier you send it in the less time you have to worry about it being under your control.

Melody said...

I felt that way before I went to college. And again before I got married. And again when I went into labor with Wyatt, and again with Jana. And oh yeah, I feel that way multiple times daily.

Growing up and growing old are two different things, and since I fail at multi-tasking, I suppose I'll just do the one thing and call it good.