Sunday, March 20, 2011

Oh Jane Austen. How I Wish to Be Thee.

Ooookay. So here's the low down. Yesterday I went to see Jane Austen's Persuasion at BYU. And it was so well done! The actors were excellent, the costumes were fantastic, the scenery was so fitting, and everything was just ship shape (forgive the pun, anyone that knows what I'm talking about...) But really, I loved it.

And today I thought to myself, I wish I was Jane Austen. She was so awesome. She wrote incredibly witty books for someone of her age. She was intelligent and pretty....and she never got married, but that's not the point. I wish I could be as unique and entertaining an author as she was. I don't think I'll ever be able to be though! Oh well. Now you'll have to endure a bunch of
Jane Austen men and wallow in pity with me.

And...just for the heck of it...

Love always,

Tuesday, March 15, 2011


They are an epic waste of time and energy.

That will be all.

Love always,

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Deep Thoughts on a Wednesday Afternoon

Do you ever have days where you just do not feel like you know what's going on? In or outside of yourself?

That is pretty much how I feel today. (I feel hypocritical writing this after my deep gratitude post, and I wonder why I can't be humble all the time, but there you have it.) Today, I don't feel like I know who I am. I feel like I don't know where I'm going, I feel like I don't know where I've been, I feel like I don't know what I want or what I like or...anything really.

Whenever I vent to my friends about this kind of problem, I get responses like "You're a wonderful person! You're so smart and nice and pretty and you're so good at everything you do!" Not that those are bad in any way, shape, or form. It's really nice to hear those things, and I'm grateful to my darling friends I complain to. Just by the way.

But when people say things like that, I have to wonder if that's what I am or who I am. And then I realize that those things are probably the same. But are they? Is what you are the same thing as who you are? Are you what you're good at? I mean obviously we're defined by the things we do. And for the most part, I do the things I'm good at (or think I'm good at, at any rate). And I really enjoy them. But is that who I am? What does that even MEAN?

And now I look over this extremely angst-y, over-thought post and realize I'm blowing this all out of proportion. (And I'm fine, Mom. For real.) Just some deep thoughts on a Wednesday afternoon.

Love always,

Monday, March 7, 2011


Some days just humble you into tears and onto your knees. Today was that day.

It's hard to believe how wrapped and tangled up I get in my own life. I complain over Physics homework. I think my life is difficult because I didn't get to practice as long as I wanted to. The guy I like doesn't like me back and I'm always up late doing homework. I'm not as skinny as I want to be and everyone is asking too much of me.

And then I remember that there are people surrounding me that have real problems, and I cry for being selfish and forgetting that I am blessed above and beyond anything I can ever hope to deserve.

I remember that I have a family that I adore, and that will put up with me.
I remember that my siblings and parents are all healthy.
I remember that my parents have jobs and can support our family.
I remember that I am strong and smart and am capable of doing anything I want to do.

Even the biggest hurt of my life is healing. The person that injured me more than I ever thought he could turned his life around and is doing wonderful things with it.

So many people don't have those things. And I can't believe I ever forget to be thankful for them. Many of my friends have lost parents and siblings to diseases and accidents. Kids I know are ruining their lives with drugs and alcohol.

I look at my amazing family that love me and I am grateful. I look at my incredible friends with strong testimonies and I am grateful. I have a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in. I look at the people literally surrounding me that are ready at a moment's notice to let me scream or cry or vent or talk whenever I need to.

And I am grateful.

Love always,