Friday, December 10, 2010

Because Any Day Can Stand a Few More Laughs...

"I need big thumbs for the manly things that men do. Like hitting things...with hammers. ESPECIALLY sledge hammers." -Nick W.

"Don't be offended if I don't write anything profane. I mean profound!" -Mary N.

"I'm masculine and easy." -Sister Liana

"Voldemort's not really a party animal..." -Joseph C.

"Zombiism and communism go hand in hand!" -Nick W.

"When I pulled your toe, I heard piano music." -Kaela C.

"Is there a Nobel Prize for cooking? No, seriously!" -Nick W.

"Kate is like a cape in that she's flowing and beautiful, and she'll strangle you if you put her on too tight." -Andy P.

"I thought Jesus spoke English!" -Wade

"But Mom, he scattered my pants across the galaxy!" -Isaac

"You're trying to argue with me, but we have no....qualms." -Riley B.

"Good times like a stream of gold cheese." -Christian P.

"I curse your mustaches. BOTH OF THEM!"

"Jesus was a lot like Elvis, only WAY more famous!" -Isaac

"If the moon was a banana, it would have enough potassium to give you a heart attack!" -Nick W.

"I wholeheartedly agree, my African-American brother!" -Melody P.

"What?! Don't I give good back massages??" -Christian G.

"I once killed a colony of ants. With fire." -Christian P.

"Bassoons sound like someone is farting. Cellos sound like someone is sculpting an angel!" -John W.

"Your wig plus my tights equals a party." -Joseph C.

"He's never been pulled over because he...well....never mind." -Mrs. V

"Oh middle finger!" -Dad

"I want bacon, pancakes, and dessert for dinner! And for dessert, I want more dessert!" -Mom

"Today is Steak Sunday. I mean Fast Sunday." -Emma C.

"Nick, look at the flag." "I don't need to! I can see its reflection in your eyes." -Nick W.

"Can you imagine how dysfunction society would be if everyone was ME?" -Jozi B.

"Hufflepuff is the platypus of Hogwarts." -Kat

"Don't take the repeats. Now, let's repeat straight through!" -Mr. Larson

"According to Darwinism, if I hunt only really fast creatures, eventually I'll have rockets for legs." -Christian P.

"We're not crazy." "Yeah, if we were crazy, we'd be holding knives." -Christian & Caleb

"Veal can apparate onto the Death Star." -Jozi B.

"Henry David Thoreau is going to shoot you. He liked rifles." -Christian P.

"You don't have to move! It's like your marinating my seat!" -Steffany B.

"That guy is like a buffalo. A wild, rabid buffalo."

"Chopin was like the AC/DC of a long, LONG time ago." -Nick G.

"You know, avocados would sell a lot better if they were marketed as zombie pears." -Joseph M.

"That wasn't a punch! It was a friendly pat on the arm...with my fist." -Nick G.

"Gouda cheese?! I LOVE GOUDA CHEESE! It's like Buddha, but cheese!" -Caleb K.

"No one would know you were wearing a biohazard suit if you were also wearing a Buzz Lightyear costume!" -Jozi B.

"This book starts with a throng of bearded men and women." -Mrs. V

"Let's play kill your neighbor! The rules are simple." -John W.

I hope these lovely quotes have produced some kind of happiness in your soul this day. :o)

Love always,


Lee and Melody said...

I am crying, those were hilarious. Zombie pears... And I haven't met Christian P, but tell him he's profound. Or profane. Whichever.

Carrots said...

You realize about half of these are from CP? Yeah. You, Mr. Franklin, have brightened my day!

Nick said...

Like. That's all I have to say for that haha.

Miriam said...