"I need big thumbs for the manly things that men do. Like hitting things...with hammers. ESPECIALLY sledge hammers." -Nick W.
"Don't be offended if I don't write anything profane. I mean profound!" -Mary N.
"I'm masculine and easy." -Sister Liana
"Voldemort's not really a party animal..." -Joseph C.
"Zombiism and communism go hand in hand!" -Nick W.
"When I pulled your toe, I heard piano music." -Kaela C.
"Is there a Nobel Prize for cooking? No, seriously!" -Nick W.
"Kate is like a cape in that she's flowing and beautiful, and she'll strangle you if you put her on too tight." -Andy P.
"I thought Jesus spoke English!" -Wade
"But Mom, he scattered my pants across the galaxy!" -Isaac
"You're trying to argue with me, but we have no....qualms." -Riley B.
"Good times like a stream of gold cheese." -Christian P.
"I curse your mustaches. BOTH OF THEM!"
"Jesus was a lot like Elvis, only WAY more famous!" -Isaac
"If the moon was a banana, it would have enough potassium to give you a heart attack!" -Nick W.
"I wholeheartedly agree, my African-American brother!" -Melody P.
"What?! Don't I give good back massages??" -Christian G.
"I once killed a colony of ants. With fire." -Christian P.
"Bassoons sound like someone is farting. Cellos sound like someone is sculpting an angel!" -John W.
"Your wig plus my tights equals a party." -Joseph C.
"He's never been pulled over because he...well....never mind." -Mrs. V
"Oh middle finger!" -Dad
"I want bacon, pancakes, and dessert for dinner! And for dessert, I want more dessert!" -Mom
"Today is Steak Sunday. I mean Fast Sunday." -Emma C.
"Nick, look at the flag." "I don't need to! I can see its reflection in your eyes." -Nick W.
"Can you imagine how dysfunction society would be if everyone was ME?" -Jozi B.
"Hufflepuff is the platypus of Hogwarts." -Kat
"Don't take the repeats. Now, let's repeat straight through!" -Mr. Larson
"According to Darwinism, if I hunt only really fast creatures, eventually I'll have rockets for legs." -Christian P.
"We're not crazy." "Yeah, if we were crazy, we'd be holding knives." -Christian & Caleb
"Veal can apparate onto the Death Star." -Jozi B.
"Henry David Thoreau is going to shoot you. He liked rifles." -Christian P.
"You don't have to move! It's like your marinating my seat!" -Steffany B.
"That guy is like a buffalo. A wild, rabid buffalo."
"Chopin was like the AC/DC of a long, LONG time ago." -Nick G.
"You know, avocados would sell a lot better if they were marketed as zombie pears." -Joseph M.
"That wasn't a punch! It was a friendly pat on the arm...with my fist." -Nick G.
"Gouda cheese?! I LOVE GOUDA CHEESE! It's like Buddha, but cheese!" -Caleb K.
"No one would know you were wearing a biohazard suit if you were also wearing a Buzz Lightyear costume!" -Jozi B.
"This book starts with a throng of bearded men and women." -Mrs. V
"Let's play kill your neighbor! The rules are simple." -John W.
I hope these lovely quotes have produced some kind of happiness in your soul this day. :o)
3 months ago