Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Shake It!

The day starts as any day would. You wake up, ready yourself for the day, grab some breakfast (maybe), and before you know it, you find yourself at school. Even still, the day seems decidedly ordinary. Nothing has gone well, nothing has gone badly. UNTIL YOU GET TO THE FIRST PERIOD OF THE DAY!

You settle yourself down in your very assigned seat (you wouldn't choose to sit there if it was up to you). The class begins in the usual way, but all of a sudden, an earthquake strikes! You are almost ready to throw yourself under the desk for protection when you notice that nobody else seems disturbed. Then you see that your desk is the only one shaking.

Inconspicuously, you glance over your shoulder and see that the girl sitting behind you has her feet on the back legs of your desk and is shaking up and down and back and forth like she's having a seizure.

Your options at this point are:

1. Scoot your desk as far forward as possible.

2. Run screaming from the room.

3. Turn around and, while shaking her desk violently, say, "How do you like it now?!"

(These solutions may or may not produce the desired result.)

GAH!!!

I know that the day is long and sitting in a desk for hours on end gets boring. Really, I do! But could you put your feet down?

*shake shake shake*

I don't want your legs to cramp up, so shake them all around if you want! But please, do it away from me and my desk.

*shake shake shake*

Look, my desk isn't a massage chair. As much as I'm enjoying this, would it be too much trouble to ask you to hold off until someone else is sitting in front of you?

*shake shake shake*

My notes have random squiggles all over them now because no matter when I put my pencil to the paper, the desk immediately starts shaking under it! I can't focus on the board because my vision is rocking to and fro with the erratic movements of your legs! Just hold still!

*shake shake shake*

Nothing works.

I like to call these people "Shaking Robots."

If you or someone you love is infected by this common but dangerous disease, please contact your physician right away.

Seriously.

5 comments:

Aubrey Noelle said...

thanks kate :)

skull0candy said...

That made me laugh. You were the best story writer in amongst us. :)

Chase said...

That was really funny. And sadly, I have that disease... but I try not to do it on people's desk's!

Nick said...

See isn't my rollercoaster of your desk scooting to your left in physics so much better?

Kate said...

Oh yes Nick. Very, very much so.