Getting Old.

Not really old, necessarily...but guess what I did yesterday? That's right, I started firing up my BYU application. YIKES. Surely I'm not old enough to go to college yet. It simply isn't possible that I am that old. I'm not, I tell you. I'm still a little curly-haired girl wearing denim overalls and socks on my hands, jumping on the trampoline. That sounds a lot more like me than filling out college applications and writing entrance essays and worrying about money and where I'm going to live.

I feel like I should still be watching Scooby-Doo and playing with Pokemon cards and hating long division; not reading Jane Eyre and writing essays about how a bill passes through Congress.

The point is, I'm pretty dag-blasted sure I'm still a kid. I remember how excited I was to see how I would be in high school. For some reason, I thought I would be completely different. There would be some magical transformation between middle and high school which would automatically turn me into a smart, confident lady who knew exactly where she was going in life AND how she was going to get there. (It doesn't exactly work like that.)

See, I just don't feel ready for college. It's kind of....scary. I feel like baby Wade, who declared to my mom when he was but a wee lad, "I don't want to go to high school, Mom. I'm afraid I might fall off." The world is big and I am little, and I don't feel ready for life.

However, I'm so excited for what's coming my way. As Papa Paul would say, "This is where it's at." I love where I'm at, even though it's stressful. I love where I'm going, even though I'm not sure where exactly that might be just yet. Here, let me sum it up in the immortal words of Calvin: "Well, you never know...something could happen today. And if anything does, by golly, I'm going to be ready for it!"











So if anyone happens to have a helmet in their closet....


Love always,
Kate

Why I'm Not at School

See Sunday's post. BLAH.

Love,
Kate

Why I'm Not at Church

So, here's the story. Yesterday, I was reading A Tale of Two Cities and I fell asleep. I woke up from a little twenty minute nap and my back was kind of sore. I thought nothing of it and got up to get ready to go hang out with some friends. I took a couple ibuprofen before I left, thinking I had slept in a funny position and cramped some muscles up, and it would go away in a couple hours.

By the time I got to Katelyn's house, I was in some serious discomfort. I got into a comfortable position on her couch and we sat down and watched a movie. Then, around 7, I had to leave to make dinner for a kid I was babysitting. But by the time I got home, it was all I could do to get through the front door and throw myself on the floor. I laid there crying until my parents got home.

(Yes, this is all ridiculously dramatic. But my life isn't usually this exciting, so I'm making this one good.)

So. Parents come home, crying on the floor, etc. They relocated me to the couch with a heating pad and gave me some Tylenol and I laid there for a bit. Then my darling friends came over and sat with me for a while so I wouldn't be lonely. I have good friends. I like them.

A little while after they left, I started feeling better. So I started walking around a bit. Then I did some homework and even played the piano for a while. Then I laid back down. My friends came over again, and about one minute later, I had the absolute most gut-wrenching, excruciating pain in my...stomach? What? It was my back that was hurting. Except that it seemed to have moved to my stomach. At this point, my friends took leave of me, since I was on the kitchen floor weeping and writhing around. My Dad and Mike gave me a blessing, and I slowly started to feel better, bit by little bit.

We decided at some point along the way, when the pain was moving to my stomach and I had to go to the bathroom every two minutes, except that I really didn't, that I was having kidney stones. Someone please explain to me why I'm having kidney stones at the age of 17! At least two women who have had experience with kidney stones told me that it's worse than giving birth, so there's something to look forward to.... Anyway, I crawled into my little brother's bed an hour later and ended up spending the night there because I didn't want to move, and woke up this morning feeling sick, but with substantially less pain.

And that is why I'm not at church today! :)

(I would post a picture of kidney stones, but they're gross and I'm not going to make you see them if you don't want to. Look it up if you get enthusiastic...)

Feeling better,
Kate

Moo.

Should I drop a class? Quit my job? Give up flute or voice?

What class could I drop? I need the money. I can't give up music or I'll die.

THEN WHAT IS TO BE DONE? I need to learn to manage my time. I am so desperately unhappy.

Oh help.

A Childhood Memory

Sometimes, I blog about important things. Sometimes I do not. And sometimes I feel like I have a lot to say but I don't know if I should say it, or if I even want to. Or just don't know how to put it.

Today, I feel like that. Did I do the right thing? I think so. Does that make me feel any better? Kind of. Not really. It's not easy to bust a person's heart. Especially when that person is someone you care about.

I remember once, I was talking to my Uncle Adam. We were in Grammy's basement, and I was sitting on the bed watching him pack for something. I was probably nine or ten, and he was in his mid-twenties. He came and sat next to me and said, "Kate, when you grow up, you're going to be in love. And people will be in love with you. You're going to break hearts, and you're going to have your heart broken." I nodded solemnly, but secretly in my little girl brain, I was thinking, "Pfft. Yeah right, Pab. You don't know how it works. I'm going to grow up, find my true love, get married in the temple, and have a bunch of kids. It's not that complicated."

I was thinking about that the other day, and it made me laugh. But really, who didn't think that way when they were nine? I would sit around imagining how I was going to meet my true love, how we would look at each other and instantly know we were right for each other, and boom! All my problems would be solved. And only in the past few years have I realized that it doesn't usually work like that. There's a lot of mess to go through before you get to the boom. And the problems don't magically get solved. They get cried, pushed, prayed, and muscled through.

I have broken hearts. I've had my heart broken. People have probably been in love with me, and I didn't know it. I don't think I've been in love yet, but I'm sure I will be someday. And I'm still only seventeen.

Life is a lot more complicated than I thought it would be when I was nine.

Feeling slightly confused,
Kate

Feeling Slightly Sheepish....

Okay, everyone. It's been a really, REALLY long time. I am thoroughly ashamed of myself.

Now, on to better things!

A quick update on life--
This summer I've:
Been to Girl's Camp, which was grand. Much weeping ensued.
Hiked a violent hike in the Uinta mountains. Less weeping ensued, but weeping there was.
Driven across the United States and back. Very little (if any) weeping ensued.
Read the Harry Potter books again. A great deal of weeping ensued.

Next week, I'm going to Lake Powell. Weeping will probably ensue!
Also, I am about to embark on the lofty quest of reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy...in one month. Whew. Wish me luck with that one. Count on the weeping.

As you can see, there has been quite enough weeping this summer. Why? I couldn't tell you. However, I am vastly happy and very excited for school to start up again.
I'll be taking these lovely classes:

1. AP Psychology
2. AP English
3. Symph. Band
4. Journalism
5. A Capella
6. Madrigal Choir
7. Seminary/TA
8. US Gov/Seminary

Party. I know it. Anyway, I'm about to be late to the midnight breakfast! Have a glorious evening, everyone. :)


Oh, and by the way...... I love the Doctor. In case you didn't know.

















Love always,
Kate

To Put It Gently....

Screw the thirty day challenge! I have more important things to write about. Liiiike, things I actually care about. So, if you actually want to know anything from the thirty day challenge, I'll be more than happy to tell them to you. For now, I give up. Yay! :D

So, on to more cheerful topics--I'm feeling vaguely inspired by Andrew Woodruff to write about the wonderful kids in my life. My friends take such good care of me.

So, in no particular order except the order drawn up by a seriously disorganized brain, here we go!

Jozi Brewer- Woo, yeah! Woo! Oh yeah, yeah! Woo! Honestly, MC Scampering Toad is a joy to be around. He's very honest and open and heartfelt. Whenever I have any kind of problem, I know I've got someone that'll listen and give me his honest to goodness opinion and all sorts of extremely useful advice. Not to mention he throws out a mean freestyle and is one of the most hilarious people I've ever met. *insert awkward handshake here*

Kaela Carter- Oh Kaela. Where to even begin? We go all the way back to when we were...well...more awkward than we are now, if that's possible. We can talk about anything, even if it's problems we have with each other, and we can always work it out. We share a deep love for Flynn Rider and Robert Downey Jr., among other hot men, which is always a good thing to be able to laugh about when nobody else knows what's going on. Kaela always listens when I want to chat and I love being around her! She is smart and funny and has an amazing talent of pressing forward when things are less than sunny that I admire greatly. Ah hart thee.

Kat Moulton-Katherine! (WHAT?!) Katherine is my other half, the answer to my heart's duet, my bosom friend, and a truly kindred spirit. I love being able to do an air kiss to her in English and...well, have her understand EXACTLY what I mean. She doesn't criticize me when I weep during The Crucible, Anne of Green Gables, Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, because she's weeping too! Ahh. It's nice to have a weeping friend. Not to mention the time we started a revolutionary uprising in seventh grade together...Ben Franklin and P. Henry all the way. I also appreciate the fact that we can quote all of The Importance of Being Earnest together, among many other things....("But I don't have any black dresses!" "I believe we all know what key she will sing in...F...major! Ahahaha!" "That will NOT help you decide." And so forth.) She is swell, and one of the most compassionate people I know. She is loving and gentle and sweet and I pretty much adore her. Kat, you're the bee's knees.

Miriam Bay-This woman is like a fountain of good advice. She has a great sense of knowing when to take someone seriously and is loving in the extreme. I love when I see her in the hallway and we both throw off our backpacks and stand in a very serious western-style showdown in the middle of the commons, outside class, inside class, and anywhere it strikes our fancy, really. It's a joy to have a sweet nemesis like this one.

Matthew Woodruff-This boy is like a walking dose of self-esteem. Every time I see him he smiles at me and makes me feel great. He loves everyone and is always willing to listen and help me whenever I need it. He loves Doctor Who (and other things that go "ding") and we have had many excellent times together. A+ material, this one.

John Wilson-"You're the one that wanted to have kids, woman!" Does that sum it up? :) But really, I love hanging out with John. He is hilarious. I love that we can talk music together, that's not something I get to do very often with anyone but my mom. Having someone that appreciates the same type of music you do is always a blessing. And besides, we make a really cute redneck couple.

Catie Brown-This is the woman I go to with my guy problems. She's always very understanding of my distress and the stupidity of men, which makes her an excellent person to talk to about anything man-related. We met as foolish flute girls in the seventh grade, and we've been tight ever since. Playing dress-up with her is always....interesting...but we have so much fun. I love her to death.

Whitney Carlson-Oh, do we ever go back. Whitney was the very first friend I had in Provo. We've gone from playing with stuffed animals and reading Magic Tree House books in library class to squealing over our beautiful prom dresses and arguing about whose turn it is to drive to school, and I'm sure years from now we'll be sitting in her front room talking about our jobs and husbands while our babies play on the floor. She is so beautiful and kind and compassionate and funny, I'm glad to have been her friend all these years.

Christian Paiva-Yippie kai yay....but for real. Christian is hilarious and has a special way of brightening my day. I love hanging out with him. Especially when we watch the X-Files or go ice-skating together. Also, you wouldn't know it, but he is full of good advice. We've had many a late night conversation about all sorts of deep things. Good times, my bro.

Yon Soo Park-This woman is just full of kindness. She's always willing to go out of her way to make me comfortable and happy, and she genuinely loves being nice to people. She's so sweet and thoughtful and basically gorgeous, and I love being around her. We have had many, many good times... :)

Lastly, to the founder of the post, Andrew Woodruff. I feel it's only right to acknowledge the inspiration. We got to watch LotR the other day at his house with a bunch of other excellent people, and it was so much fun. He's a great kid, and mostly I adore reading his blog. It inspires me to be a better person and do thoughtful posts like this one. Thanks, Andrew! :)

Forgive me my darlings, but I am getting very, very tired. I have left off so many people I want to talk about, but you must know that I love you. Truly I do, whoever you may be, even if you're not mentioned in this post. There are so many people that bless my life that I can't begin to number them. My parents, my brothers, my aunts and uncles, my cousins, and all my extraordinary friends--I love you. Thank you all so much for loving me and and talking to me and playing with me and taking such wonderful care of me. :)

Love ALWAYS,
Kate

Day 3

Somewhere I've been? This is getting boring already. Who knows if I'll actually finish....



Ah Lake Powell. Not that it's anywhere particularly exotic, but I sure love it.

Getting bored,
Kate

Day 2

Something I ate today:



Yep, this is a lazy post. Suffice to say, I love (LOVE) strawberries.

Love always,
Kate

Day 1

This is me and my cute friends. I love them a whole bunch!

So, my day today. Let me tell you about it. I woke up decently early....like....say...ten? Ha. Anyway, I got up not very early and ate breakfast, which is weird. I never eat breakfast even though I love it. Explain that to me.
After breakfast, I mowed the lawn, which took a ridiculously long time. The grass was a beast. Then I vacuumed the living room at my mother's request and on a random impulse, swept and mopped the kitchen and hallway. Why? I couldn't say. Sometimes I like cleaning. I also cleaned the sinks and counters, just for fun.
Then, since I was feeling ambitious, I decided to make something I'd never made before. I didn't have anything in mind, and the only guidelines were delicious dessert. So on random impulse, I set about the task of making peanut butter blondies. And I am quite pleased with the way they turned out. Actually, extremely pleased. Even though I almost messed them up on numerous occasions, they are quite excellent.
After that, I went hiking with Katelyn, Jozi, Cami, John, MC, Chase, and Parker up Rock Canyon. We had quite a blast. Then me and Cami came back and ate my delicious peanut butter creations, and then I took one to John and his mom fed me delicious bread.
And then I drove home with the windows down and enjoyed the absolutely lovely spring evening.

*sigh*

What a glorious day! I'm tired. And desperately in need of a shower. Oh and dinner, I need to eat dinner. And do my physics homework. Hmmmmm. We'll see if that actually gets done.

Day 1=success.

Love always,
Kate

Why Am I Doing This?

I don't know. But I'm going to do it anyway....oh the randomness.

30 Day Challenge, here I come! (On an side note...challenge? How is this a challenge? WHO CAME UP WITH THIS? Why am I conforming to the popularity of this nonsense? Why?!)

Day 1 – A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.
Day 2 – A photo of something you ate today.
Day 3 – A picture of somewhere you've been to.
Day 4 – A picture of you and your friends.
Day 5 – Your ideal first date.
Day 6 – A photo of an animal you’d love to keep as a pet.
Day 7 – Your dream wedding.
Day 8 – A song to match your mood.
Day 9 – A photo of the item you last purchased.
Day 10 – A photo of your favorite place to eat.
Day 11 – What’s in your makeup bag?
Day 12 – A photograph of the town you live in.
Day 13 – Your favorite musician and why?
Day 14 – A TV show you’re currently addicted to.
Day 15 – Something you don’t leave the house without.
Day 16 – Your celebrity crush.
Day 17 – A photo of you and your family.
Day 18 – Something you crave a lot.
Day 19 – Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad.
Day 20 – The meaning behind your blog name.
Day 21 – Put your iPod on shuffle. List the first 10 songs that play.
Day 22 – A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Day 23 – 15 facts about you.
Day 24 – A photo of something that means a lot to you.
Day 25 – Nicknames you have and why you have them.
Day 26 – A baby picture.
Day 27 – A picture of something that makes you happy.
Day 28 – Your favorite movie.
Day 29 – Something you could never get tired of doing.
Day 30 – A photograph of yourself today + three good things that have happened in the last 30 days!

So....I guess we'll see how this goes. Hmm. Look for Day 1 in approximately four to five hours!

Love always,
Kate

A Full Plate

Background: I came home from church two hours early on account of feeling very ill, and, after determining what to eat (chicken noodle soup...ahh) I decided I should buck up and at least get some reading done for English.

I decided reading The Grapes of Wrath would be much more tolerable if I was rewarding myself with a less horrible book in between every few chapters. So I went into my room and thought to myself, "What am I reading right now that I could use in between?" and found all these books sitting on my bedside table in the state of being partially read:

1. The Life of Pi

2. Persuasion




3. Gone with the Wind


4. Tuesdays with Morrie




5. Ella Enchanted




6. The Shipping News




7. Heart of Darkness




8. Calvin and Hobbes




9. The Book of Mormon

So, technically speaking, I am in the process of reading ten books right now (if you can count Calvin and Hobbes and The Book of Mormon, which I'm always reading).

You may ask me why I don't just finish one book and move on to another....and I will not have a good answer for you. I just can't seem to come to terms with one at a time! Oh well, at least I have a lot to do over Spring Break! :)

Love always,
Kate

Weather.

Whether or not to blog about the weather.... Ha ha. I love words.

Anyway, I have been solemnly instructed by a parental unit to blog about the weather. So, here we go.

Weather. It's everywhere. The best thing about weather is....um....wind. I like wind, actually. It's so awesome. Wind can be refreshing or threatening or foreboding (!) or tickly or...anything really. I love wind.

Also, I love flowers. There are hyacinths and daffodils and irises and tulips coming up in our garden out front. They smell like heaven. I don't even mind the awkward snow/sun combinations we keep having because they make the flowers smell amazing. Seriously, I hope heaven smells like my garden does. Dirt and everything. (I like the smell of dirt. Is that weird?)

What else about weather? Random rain storms, I like those. Oh boy, I just realized I'm excited for summer lightning storms. Those are so cool. I hope the lightning strikes some sand so I can go glass hunting.

*rambles on incoherently about the weather for a little while longer*

The point is, I love spring! That's all.



Love always,
Kate

Oh Jane Austen. How I Wish to Be Thee.

Ooookay. So here's the low down. Yesterday I went to see Jane Austen's Persuasion at BYU. And it was so well done! The actors were excellent, the costumes were fantastic, the scenery was so fitting, and everything was just ship shape (forgive the pun, anyone that knows what I'm talking about...) But really, I loved it.

And today I thought to myself, I wish I was Jane Austen. She was so awesome. She wrote incredibly witty books for someone of her age. She was intelligent and pretty....and she never got married, but that's not the point. I wish I could be as unique and entertaining an author as she was. I don't think I'll ever be able to be though! Oh well. Now you'll have to endure a bunch of
Jane Austen men and wallow in pity with me.
































































































































And...just for the heck of it...














Love always,
Kate

Boys.

They are an epic waste of time and energy.

That will be all.

Love always,
Kate

Deep Thoughts on a Wednesday Afternoon

Do you ever have days where you just do not feel like you know what's going on? In or outside of yourself?

That is pretty much how I feel today. (I feel hypocritical writing this after my deep gratitude post, and I wonder why I can't be humble all the time, but there you have it.) Today, I don't feel like I know who I am. I feel like I don't know where I'm going, I feel like I don't know where I've been, I feel like I don't know what I want or what I like or...anything really.

Whenever I vent to my friends about this kind of problem, I get responses like "You're a wonderful person! You're so smart and nice and pretty and you're so good at everything you do!" Not that those are bad in any way, shape, or form. It's really nice to hear those things, and I'm grateful to my darling friends I complain to. Just by the way.

But when people say things like that, I have to wonder if that's what I am or who I am. And then I realize that those things are probably the same. But are they? Is what you are the same thing as who you are? Are you what you're good at? I mean obviously we're defined by the things we do. And for the most part, I do the things I'm good at (or think I'm good at, at any rate). And I really enjoy them. But is that who I am? What does that even MEAN?

And now I look over this extremely angst-y, over-thought post and realize I'm blowing this all out of proportion. (And I'm fine, Mom. For real.) Just some deep thoughts on a Wednesday afternoon.


Love always,
Kate

Gratitude

Some days just humble you into tears and onto your knees. Today was that day.

It's hard to believe how wrapped and tangled up I get in my own life. I complain over Physics homework. I think my life is difficult because I didn't get to practice as long as I wanted to. The guy I like doesn't like me back and I'm always up late doing homework. I'm not as skinny as I want to be and everyone is asking too much of me.

And then I remember that there are people surrounding me that have real problems, and I cry for being selfish and forgetting that I am blessed above and beyond anything I can ever hope to deserve.

I remember that I have a family that I adore, and that will put up with me.
I remember that my siblings and parents are all healthy.
I remember that my parents have jobs and can support our family.
I remember that I am strong and smart and am capable of doing anything I want to do.

Even the biggest hurt of my life is healing. The person that injured me more than I ever thought he could turned his life around and is doing wonderful things with it.

So many people don't have those things. And I can't believe I ever forget to be thankful for them. Many of my friends have lost parents and siblings to diseases and accidents. Kids I know are ruining their lives with drugs and alcohol.

I look at my amazing family that love me and I am grateful. I look at my incredible friends with strong testimonies and I am grateful. I have a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in. I look at the people literally surrounding me that are ready at a moment's notice to let me scream or cry or vent or talk whenever I need to.

And I am grateful.





















Love always,
Kate

I Am In Love Part 2

It's February, so it's okay to be in love this much. So it's time for another confession.

I am bananas about the leading men of the classic musicals. They have so much talent and they're so handsome and funny and great dancers and singers. Sigh.

So I was wasting time on facebook the other day and I came across a link to a blog on one of my friend's walls. So naturally I followed it and by happen chance found a post about Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland.

Now, I have always loved Mickey Rooney, but the first time I ever saw him in a movie was Pete's Dragon, and anyone who has ever seen it knows that he is quite elderly in that particular movie. But I realized he must have been young at some point. So, I spent the rest of the day watching old Andy Hardy shows and giggling at his young cuteness.




















Isn't he just adorable?




















Dear Matt, my mom thinks you look just like him in this picture.




















Mickey and Judy. Cutest thing ever.






Next, I was watching Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. And oh, Howard Keel. Just.....dang. I love, love, LOVE Howard Keel's voice. It's so rich and deep. He is so manly I can't stand it.




















I mean really. Come on.


















The ability to look good clean-shaven AND as a scruffy back-woodsman is a talent possessed by very few men in this world.
















And look! He's a cowboy too!





Then I was watching Guys and Dolls. Frank Sinatra. I die and go to heaven every time that man opens his mouth. His voice is just so...perfect. Round and smooth and smiling.














I love him in On The Town. His character is so air-headed and cute.





















I think that's the kind of smile you could fall in love with at first sight.





















And this. Oh this. He looks like he's being caught in the act of doing something naughty and is going to (very easily) charm his way out of trouble.




THEN I watched Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Oh Dick Van Dyke. How I love that man. I have loved him ever since the first time I saw Mary Poppins when I was but a wee child. I adore his goofy faces and understated humor. He is quite wonderful.















This is one of my all-time favorite movie scenes EVER. Mostly for the face he pulls. Go look it up if you don't know what I mean.





















He just looks like an uncle, like he's about to tease you and ruffle your hair.



















And underneath all that goofiness, he's really quite handsome.





Finally, for the biggest crush I've ever had. On anyone. Ever.
(You probably think I'm kidding. I am NOT.)

I have loved him since I was about four years old. One time in class, we were playing a rhythm game where we said the names of different celebrities. Other kids threw out names like Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, and Michael Jordan.








I said Gene Kelly. :o)




















Watching him dance is pure, unadulterated entertainment. He is SO incredible!






















Ah. This is the movie in which I fell in love with him. I watched Singin' In The Rain at least once a day every day for about five years. And I never got tired of his gorgeous singing and amazing dancing.






















And completely apart from his mad serenading skills and ridiculous dance moves, he's a total heartthrob to boot.






.......ahhhh.

I feel like watching a musical.

I Am In Love.

Well, I guess it's about time you all knew.

I really have something of an unhealthy infatuation with
the ocean. And I really wish I lived closer to it.

But I don't, so I'll just make a wishful blog post about it.

*contented sigh*